Oh hey Disfam!

In exactly fourteen days, I will be checking into the Disney College Program in Anaheim. On one hand it’s kind of unbelievable that it’s actually so soon now, but on the other, I’ve basically been waiting for the entirety of 2015 since applications dropped. It’s officially crunch time now – time to schedule all of the various doctors’ appointments I’ve been putting off for months; to get fitted for a new contact lens prescription; to start stocking up on dishwasher pods and dryer sheets; to wonder what on earth happened to the safety net of money that I *should* have had saved by now; and, of course, to start packing!

The excitement is not entirely without sadness. After my last post, my bunny Gaia took his last breath in my arms. It was horrible and utterly heartbreaking, and my family and I are still in grieving. I had grown up with him, and he’d been my pet, family member, and emotional support animal for twelve years. But as hard as it is to let go of him, and as much as I miss him, there had been a part of me that knew that he was very old, and that this was coming soon. And as painful as it was to witness, I am still so grateful that I was here for his last days and that I got to be with him, holding him until the very end. My excitement over the past few months had been overshadowed by my guilt and fear over leaving him for four months. Now I will be leaving home knowing that I did everything I could for him, and spent his last night on earth snuggling and getting little bunny kisses from him. Although I wish he could have lived forever, and as heavy as it makes my heart to lose him – I’m relieved that I won’t be spending the next four months anxious and fearful, wondering how he’s doing and whether he’s okay each night.

I can’t think of a better place to heal than Disneyland. It’s gotten me through tough times before, but this no longer feels like a hard time – it just feels like a new beginning. I’m saying goodbye to my home and family for the first time, and setting off to surround myself with a new family of people who all share the same crazy passions and interests as me. I’m going to learn so many things, have experiences I can’t even fathom yet and, let’s be real – I’m going to be able to go to Disneyland whenever I want. And that is exactly what I need right now.

So I’m just going to keep blasting my (super extensive) Disney playlist at all times while I pack, finish up DIY decorations, and get waaay too excited planning IKEA trips with my amazing roommates. Soon enough we’ll all be in Anaheim living the dream, and I’ll get to write based on more than just speculation and wishful musings. Until then, thanks for reading and stay magical!


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